Monthly Archives: September 2010
Beta readers for Lament, check in?
| September 30, 2010 | Posted by annathepiper under Lament of the Dove |
Three of you have checked in with me, but I haven’t heard from the other five…? (Many thanks to 
cowgerimaplemamishka
As an FYI to y’all reading, I’m currently in chapter 9 of the word count reduction pass so you have a bit of buffer time still before I really need the feedback. It’ll be at least another week or so depending on how fast I can charge through the rest of the manuscript. As of Chapter 9 I’m now into the main area that the editor at Carina advised me about, so it may take me longer to get through on the grounds of needing to think about what I want to do to implement her requests.
Do check in with me if you can, if nothing else just to let me know if you’re still up for finishing the reading? (“No” is a perfectly acceptable answer, I just need to know if I’m going to get feedback from you.) Thanks again!
Some potential Awesome
| September 27, 2010 | Posted by annathepiper under Drollerie Press, Other People's Books |
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Courtesy of upstart_crow
More details over here!
Oh, and while I’m on the topic of queer anthologies, it also behooves me to plug Drollerie Press’ own forthcoming queer antho Hellebore and Rue. Aptly enough, upstart_crow
Details on Hellebore and Rue are over here.
Reminder to beta readers
| September 21, 2010 | Posted by annathepiper under Lament of the Dove |
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It’s the 21st and if possible I’d like to start hardcore revisions in October, so if you can get me feedback by the 1st I’d very much appreciate it! (I’m still working on the word count reduction draft, having finished chapter 6 of same last night, and I hope to have that done by then.)
Many thanks to cow
Faerie Blood CD update: seven still available
| September 19, 2010 | Posted by annathepiper under Faerie Blood |
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Thanks to angelina_zooma
Please see the original post for how to get one if you want!
Eight Faerie Blood CDs available
| September 17, 2010 | Posted by annathepiper under Faerie Blood |
I have eight of the Lightscribe CDs of Faerie Blood left over from my August 21st reading. If any of you all out there might be interested in taking them off my hands, please let me know!
On the CD you’ll find both the epub AND pdf versions of the book, along with a short Readme file telling you how to read either one and which you should use depending on your needs. There’s also a pdf copy of my short story “The Disenchanting of Princess Cerridwen”, included as a bonus.
The discs themselves are Lightscribe CDs and show Kendis’ face, a small bit taken from the book’s cover art. I will include a color printed insert and sign that upon request! (Or I will sign the disc itself.) The jewel cases the discs are currently in are either green or yellow, to match the cover art. I have more green available than yellow but will also swap out to red, blue, or purple on request as I have several spare cases in those colors.
If you’re local to me and I can hand-deliver you the disc and its jewel case, the price is eight dollars. If you’re not local, the price is ten dollars, to include the price of postage.
For payment, if you’re interested, please send the specified amount to my gmail address, annathepiper, via Paypal. Or talk to me in private about alternate payment methods, as well as arrangements to get you the disc.
I have no immediate plans to make more of these CDs, so get them while supplies last!
Draft Five, I am serving you NOTICE
| September 13, 2010 | Posted by annathepiper under Lament of the Dove |
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It is ON. Oh my yes. Well, not too impressively quite yet given that I’ve been smacked upside the head with a cold all weekend, but in the state of mind I’ve been in, it’s oddly easier to do a word count reduction pass than it is to write actual new content.
Which means of course that I’ve officially decided to go ahead and do a word count reduction draft while I’m waiting for the beta readers (all eight of you, like, WOW) to get back to me. This will also be doubling as an opportunity for me to review the manuscript in depth and lay down the game plan for what I want to change to tighten it up for Carina Press.
I found a couple hundred words or so to remove in both Chapters 1 and 2, and I’m leaving off tonight in the middle of Chapter 3, with about 300 words removed. So far it’s about 800 words down, and closing in on the first K. Given that the target range is between 6 and 12K, this is a promising start. I’m going to try to avoid making any big changes on this pass, but I may tweak a few smaller things as I go.
Beta readers, when I send out the editor’s feedback to those of you who haven’t gotten it yet as well as the overall gameplan, I’ll note the stuff I’ve already changed. But don’t let that stop you from reporting anything you think is worth reporting, even if I might have already tweaked it on this fifth draft pass. And, again, many many thanks!
Edited this weekend: -818
Chapter 1 revised total: 3,163
Chapter 2 revised total: 3,040
Chapter 3 revised total: 4,181
Lament of the Dove revised total (fifth draft): 117,540
Other formats available for Lament of the Dove beta readers
| September 9, 2010 | Posted by annathepiper under Lament of the Dove |
cowseattlesparks
If anybody else wants to take a crack at the manuscript and finds either of these formats Relevant to Interests, I shall provide them! Same for anyone who’s already volunteered. Please let me know!
More on the revise and resubmit
| September 9, 2010 | Posted by annathepiper under Lament of the Dove |
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Ha, glancing back at the big revise and resubmit post, I realized I actually didn’t say what the editor’s big issue with the story structure was. Oops. Clearly, the post needed an edit pass. 
Anyway, I’d said that the structure of the The Dove, the Rook, and the Hawk is supposed to be “one big story in three parts”, akin to Lord of the Rings. However, what the editor said about this was that she’d prefer to see less setup for Book 2 and more of a sense of resolution for this book.
I get that. Certainly in Fellowship of the Ring, the biggest plot questions are of course not resolved, but there is a local resolution of sorts with the dissolution of the Fellowship. With my story, the idea here is that Book 1 is supposed to be Faanshi’s local arc, Book 2 is Julian’s, and Book 3 is Kestar’s. But clearly, I need better closure for Faanshi’s local arc.
The editor has given me several thoughts about how to tackle this, and I’m already thinking about which bits at the very end of Book 1 may be shifted over into the beginning of Book 2. This would serve nicely for giving Book 1 a less open ending while at the same time opening Book 2 with a sense of “okay, things are darker now, get ready”.
I’m also thinking that perhaps, structure-wise, I should think less “Lord of the Rings” and perhaps more “Star Wars”. (Which is kinda lulzy, given that I’ve got a bit of a Han-Luke-Leia dynamic going on with Julian, Kestar, and Faanshi, only without the Wookiee. Because Nine-Fingered Rab would take issues with being compared to Chewie, I fear!) The ultimate defeat of the Empire of course doesn’t happen until the third movie, but in ANH, you do have the nice big local resolution of “YAY the Death Star is asploded!”
Much thinking to do. And I’ve already had five, count ‘em, five people volunteer to beta read; many thanks in advance to mamishkajennygriffeegerimaplejoelysuemari_mac1109apel
Call for beta read on current Lament draft
| September 8, 2010 | Posted by annathepiper under Lament of the Dove |
OKAY! Given my last post, I am now doing an in-depth review of the editorial feedback from Carina Press, and beginning to organize notes for a plan of attack on how to address the various recommendations.
However, given that this will be Lament‘s fifth draft (possibly sixth, if I do a separate word count reduction pass) and I’ve already gotten a little cross-eyed with editing this thing already, fresh eyes on it would be really, really good. So does anybody want to do a read-through for me? Specifically, I need someone who can:
- Read the entire manuscript,
- Review the list of editorial recommendations,
- Tell me if you think they’re reasonable, and
- For added bonus points, brainstorm with me on whether the game plan I’m developing to address them is feasible.
Let me emphasize: I need someone who can read the whole manuscript, all 118K words of it. Given that several of these recommendations address the overall structure of the story, a few chapters won’t cut it here. Also, my ideal time frame for this would be “some time before the end of this month”. It’ll take me at least a week or two to really properly hammer out the game plan, and if I could start hardcore edits in October, that would be awesome.
I will trade an equivalent beta read to any of my fellow writers out there for their own work, or do something else nifty in exchange for non-writers!
Carina says ‘revise and resubmit’ Lament of the Dove!
| September 8, 2010 | Posted by annathepiper under Lament of the Dove |
I finally heard back from Carina Press today about my submission of Lament of the Dove to them, and I gotta say, folks, this is hands down the best not-an-acceptance response I’ve had to a story to date.
One of Carina’s editors sent me a very long and detailed feedback letter not only calling out the various problems she had with the story but also the bits she very much liked. Just about everything she had to say I think can be chalked up to the fact that it took me so long to write and then edit this thing–long enough that I of course had my rounds with the breast cancer in between, and long enough that my writing style changed in the meantime. I’d already felt that the latter half of the story had better pacing and tighter prose, and from what this editor is saying, she seems to agree with that.
The biggest thing she’s calling out as a problem point has to do with the overall story structure. Lament is of course intended to be Book 1 of a three-part story, but the thing is, most people hear that and they think “trilogy”. The structure of The Dove, the Rook, and the Hawk is intended to be less “trilogy” and more “one big story in three parts”, similar to The Lord of the Rings. (That, along with how I also have elves in my story, being the only comparison I will ever make of my work to Tolkien!)
She’s also suggesting I yank 6-12K of words out of various places. My gut reaction to this: CAN DO SPORT. As y’all know I’ve already yoinked half a book’s worth of words out of this thing already, so I’m pretty sure this’ll be cake by comparison.
Here are a couple of awesome money quotes, though:
“I love your writing, your vivid descriptions and your world-building. Your characters are well-drawn and larger-than-life, and the conflict is strong enough to sustain the story.”
And:
“Julian is my favorite character, and his developing relationship with Faanshi is nicely drawn. Even your minor characters shine from the page. I particularly like Ulima.”
No offense to Faerie Blood, which is of course the Book of My Heart with all the things I love in it, but I’ve always felt that Lament of the Dove is a much more complex work. To get this kind of feedback on it gratifies me immensely.
This does of course mean a sudden huge shift in my writing priorities for the rest of the year. I’ll keep doing new words as I can, but the emphasis now is going to have to go on the new fifth draft of Lament! The editor was very, very clear that even if I do revise and resubmit, this won’t necessarily guarantee an offer from Carina–but that’s okay. The important thing here is to make my book MORE AWESOME. And this is the kind of feedback that’ll help me do it.
Okay, Julian, Faanshi, and Kes, you guys ready? Let’s get back to it.
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